Buygone Ad: The Day Roy Steinmetz Fell Off The Wagon

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It was a Friday in early January when Roy's boss came out of his plush corner office to give him his belated Christmas bonus. Roy kept smiling as he stared unblinkingly at the Seagram's bottle. Without a word, His boss patted him on the shoulder and sauntered back into his office and closed the door. After five frozen minutes, Roy stood up, unscrewed the cap, and took several long gulps of the cheap whiskey. He then poured the rest of the liquor all over his desk and computer and took a book of matches out of his pants pocket. Humming 'God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen,' Roy turned his workstation into an inferno. After unhurriedly grabbing his overcoat from the closet, Roy hurled the empty bottle though the frosted glass window on his boss's door and headed out to the parking lot. He went home and made passionate love to his wife, Betty. The SWAT team arrived as he was showering.