On an island between England and France, someone on the Internet is selling a dried up vial that once allegedly contained Ronald Reagan’s blood. This morning’s leading bid is now up to $14,421. Anyone?

The artifact was supposedly yoinked from a US laboratory where Reagan’s blood was tested after his 1981 assassination attempt and hospitalization. The Channel Islands online auction has already invoked the wrath of Ronald Reagan’s foundation, with a rep snarling that “Whatever’s in the vial — could be mouse blood — it’s certainly not Reagan blood… I hope the world calls on this organization to cease and desist because it’s so bogus.”

Yes, world! Rise up! To the lawyers’ office, en masse! Step on it! Lest some unfortunate deep-pocketed Reaganephile purchase this travesty and, mislead, suckle it for its fake dried blood without acquiring magical Illuminati powers, womp womp.