By Amy Blair

I had so many activities planned for this summer – days spent frolicking at the beach (that’s right, I said “frolic”), weekends spent camping upstate, afternoons of biking and rollerblading, evenings of lazy margaritas on rooftops – and now here it is nearly August and my toes have yet to touch a single grain of sand, my bike and rollerblades have been collecting dust since last fall, margaritas have been few and far between (impossible!), and lord only knows where the tent is…

And apparently I’m not the only one feeling the sting of inactivity… and thus the craigslisters are out in full effect, looking for shit to do (ho hum). Summer’s almost over already, fat asses…why not try out one of these fun and exciting ideas from the activities section of craigslist? Swear to god, they’re all 100% guaranteed to be…awesome!

Girlfriends (or,rather,partners to go out with) wanted!Tall and beautifu
Girlfriends (or, rather, partners to go out with) wanted! Tall and beautiful preferred!
I am a tall, good looking, 100% straight female, 34, would like to have more good looking girl friends (soooo tired of jealousy!) to go out on the city in search of Mr. Right!!! (or, just go out). I am fun and easy to be around. Fancy clothes/high heels a must! :-)

this is in or around Upper East Side

I am soooo tired of jealousy as well, which is why I prefer all of my girlfriends to be fat, ugly slobs with physical deformities and birth defects whenever possible. No, but seriously. I want to be friends with this chick. I’m 5’5” tall and I’ve got numerous hot Old Navy numbers in my closet. Oh, and my mom tells me I’m totally “beautifu.” Do I qualify?

Ps. Is anyone surprised that this is in or around the Upper East Side?

Can you teach me the "Wedding Dances" ???
I have to go to a wedding in 2 weeks and want to learn the Electric Slide, the Chicken Dance, Macarena, Cotton Joe, and more.

I'm a 28 yr old male in NYC

Totally! I will absolutely teach you the Chicken Dance in exchange for you teaching me all of…accounting. I mean, I was going to go to business school and stuff…but this is so much more reasonable! Can I put ‘accounting’ on my resume after this? Hey, Macarena!

Singles Bitch & Help Session--heterosexual females only
If you're an adult single heterosexual female and simply taken aback by your experiences with dating men, you're not alone! Let's meet and bitch about it. After our bitch session, we can give each other constructive feedback about how we contribute to our frustrations--it's not ALL on the men after all. If you can identify with what I'm saying but are not interested in meeting, good luck and best wishes to you.

Have you ever read a craigslist ad and then dreamt about having a cream pie to shove in the face of the person who wrote it? Yeah, me neither…until now. Also, I kind of want to meet up with this chick and then freak her out by getting hammered and talking about all of the hot, lesbian action I’ve been getting lately. She’ll probably shit her pants.

Xbox Fight Night players
Looking for cool friends who have an Xbox 360, and Fight Night Round 3, to hang out and chill and play for a few hours. I don't have an Xbox, but I play in the stores sometimes and it's a kick ass game.

I'll bring drinks and/or snacks. Male or female, whatever, we're just playing video games.

Oh my god, I am so embarrassed. I was about to totally laugh at this guy and then I realized that about a month ago I totally played Fight Night Round 3…in Circuit City…alone…after work one night. I was shopping for an air conditioner in Soho when my pea-sized brain got distracted by the fancy game that some teenaged boys were playing. As soon as they finished I had to have a turn. I was so retarded that I set it up to play Arturo Gatti vs. Arturo Gatti. The volume was set realllly loud, and it kept saying things like “Gatti just hit Gatti with a devastating uppercut.”

Explain to me again why I am such a loser?

Wrestling Partner -- Lower East Side
Any beginner wrestlers interested in practicing together at Hamilton Fish Recreational Center on the Lower Eastside? I'm just starting out in the sport and it'd be great to meet others who are doing the same. I'm 28 years-old, 6'4", 205lbs.

People start out in the sport of wrestling at age 28? I thought that this was a sport exclusively made for anorexic, teenage white boys and enormous Russian Olympians named Igor? Wait, is this one of those gay sex ads again? I feel so duped.

Wanna Talk On The Phone?
Hey, right now I'm home on a Friday night, and actually preferring it this time. I've recently found out I have no friends, the ones I thought I had for the longest aren't really my friends. So now I'm looking for someone to have an interesting conversation with and get to know on this rainy evening. Don't really want much but a stimulating conversation. So, if you're up for it, email me...if not, have a good night.

I want to laugh…but I also kind of just want to cry. But why cry, friends, when there are Xbox tournaments to be played, bitch sessions to be had, and wedding dances to be learned? It’s electric, people, boogie woogie woogie!

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